WOW. 365 days, thousands of kisses and a million precious moments. I can’t believe our first year of marriage has come. This year has taught me so much about myself, my expectations, love and life. Marriage is such a blessing. I used to be believe that there was no difference between dating and marriage it was all about the level of commitment but the truth is, in our experience, there was. Once we got married, it was just a different type of intimacy and bond that allowed us to trust each other on a deeper level - not saying that we wouldn't of experienced it without marriage but I do believe that marriage gave us almost an additional sense of security. However, the first year of marriage was not all champagne, sex and sunshine 24/7 like society likes to portray.
The first year of marriage is tough.
The one thing no one tells you is the first year of marriage is tough. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun - a year filled with excitement, spontaneity and so much love but it’s also a year of joining finances, figuring out new traditions that work for your new family unit and realizing things you never noticed before. Like the way my husband says water.. yep, water. 😂 It is the most hilarious but mind boggling pronunciation that makes my eyes roll and me giggle - EVERY. TIME. Most of these things are not detrimental to a marriage but in a society that paints the first year as nothing but bliss and romance, it can be easy to feel like you’re failing. If you are not open and honest with communication and feelings it can also make the smallest things turn into the BIGGEST issues. Especially, if you don’t have the proper support system and foundation in place.
Thankfully, our engagement year was spent going through based pre-martial counseling getting a better understanding of what’s to come. We also read books like the 5 Love Languages (highly recommend no matter your martial status) and Love to Stay. This turned out to be a HUGE blessing. Plus, since we had lived together we had a already gone through all of the “Does the ketchup/bread/peanut butter belong in the fridge or pantry?” And “You’re messing up my Netflix suggestions” scenarios. 😂 Just know, if you're going through your first year of marriage and arguing over whether socks belong in the top right or top left portion of the dresser, it's going to be okay. It may seem like you're fighting over the smallest of things but calm down and ask yourself does this even really matter? Pour yourself a drink,and remember to pick your battles. Our rule of thumb is if it doesn't matter in 5 years, don't waste more than 5 minutes of emotion on it.
What also helped is being confident in knowing who my husband is. Chris has such a selfless and loving personality and embodies what I look for in a Man of Faith. The way he takes the time to pray for me, listen to my thoughts and rambling and values my opinions allows me to feel equal and know that when he makes a decision he has done so with OUR best interest.
"It won't always be pretty, but it will always be worth it."
Looking back I could not be more sure and more confident that I chose the right man to lead me, guide me, protect me and love me. Our first year was rocky, but we made it. And when talking to other couples they’ll tell you - the first year is the hardest! So newlyweds and those engaged, during your first year remember why you fell in love with the person, that compromise is key and it’s okay to have bad days. Marriage is a choice that you consistently make to love each other on the good days and bad days, to stand by each other in times of frustrations and adoration and to lift each other up when one is down. It won't always be pretty, but it always be worth it. We are obviously not perfect and there is no "perfect plan" for marriage but we do hope this has given you some insight into normalcy and made you feel like you are not alone.
An Open Letter to My Husband:
I can't believe a year has come and gone.I love you more that you could ever know, feel or imagine and I thank God every day that he has blessed with with a strong, caring and selfless man like yourself. I am so lucky to be in love with you and be loved by you. You inspire me to be the best woman and wife I can be, you challenge me to go after my dreams and for that I am forever grateful. I appreciate you stopping to dance with me in the kitchen, cuddle me while I watch Bravo and forever making ordinary moments seem magical. I thank you for putting God first in our relationship, praying for us and leading our family. I thank you for be you. As we grow older together, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change... I will always keep falling in love with you. You will always be my forever.
Happy Anniversary 💕
Love you always. Love you most. Love you forever.